December 12th, 2012 by IXleaks>
You may have heard by now, but some highly sensitive, highly interesting material leaked from our corporate offices recently. We were advised not to comment, but it seems we’re past the point of staying quiet. Before you base your opinion on some bad reporting you saw elsewhere, check out these redacted materials for yourself. Is something big coming at IX?
Check out these suspiciously obscured photos and this redacted letter to our CEO:
Q: Hello, this is Web Hosting Expose Weekly, talking to Mack Jensen, public relations manager at IX Web Hosting. How’s it going Mack?
A: It’s going well, how are you?
Q: Just fine. Well, I suppose you know why I’m here.
A: Yes, yes I do.
Q: Earlier this, week, a top secret document was leaked on your own blog, detailing a classified project your company is working on. Can you give us any details on what this might be?
A: Nope. Not even a little bit.
Q: You can’t comment on this project at all?
A: Truthfully, I cannot confirm or deny that this so called ‘project’ even exists.
Q: So, are you saying the leaked documents aren’t authentic?
A: I can’t even confirm or deny these alleged ‘documents’ exist.
Q: Well… we know they exist, they’re posted on your blog.
A: Blog? Is that even a word?
Q: Please Mr. Jensen. You can’t just deny everything and expect us to believe th-
A: I’m sorry, who’s this Mr. Jensen you’re referring to?
Q: Come on. That’s your name.
A: Is it?
A: Okay, you got me. I guess you’ve got your big story now.
Q: No! That’s not the story! Look, a top secret doc was leaked on your blog, which is silly anyway, because it’s YOUR blog and it hasn’t been taken down yet. Regardless, the public wants to know what you’re working on.
A: Look, a document may or may not have been leaked and posted online. It may or may not be about IX’s brand new control panel, which may or may not feature an entirely new interface, customization options, and helpful new tools. Tools that may not even be there. And my name may or may not be Mack Jensen. However, I simply can’t comment on these things at this time. Plus, you can’t believe everything you hear on the internet, that’s how the Civil War got started.
Q: I, uhh… wait, what?
Q: Did you just confirm a new control panel for IX?
A: No, I did the opposite of that. I vaguely mentioned it and then indicated I couldn’t confirm or deny its existence. That way you won’t know it’s our big secret.
Q: See! Right there! You did it again!
A: No I didn’t. Look, if you read into everything I say, you can concoct all sorts of nonsense. The bottom line is, I just can’t talk about the new control panel, because it’s top secret, and if I let the cat out of the bag, I’ll get in big trouble. Assuming it even exists, which it doesn’t.
A: Thanks, I’m glad we understand each other. Now, you’re not going to report any of this, are you?
Q: What? I’m a reporter, that’s what I do!
A: THAT’s what reporters do? Oh no, I thought you did that thing with… ahh, what’s the thing where you roll a ball at some weird sticks and wear funny shoes?
Q: What, bowling?
A: Yeah, that! Oh no, oh God, oh no, I’m in so much trouble… oh God… this interview is over!!